Love thy parents

Hey everyone. I know I have been away for far too long. I sincerely apologize for not writing in some time. Life has been kind of hectic what with all the holidays, attending IEP meetings for Jeremiah, and then I went back to school. The good news is things are beginning to settle down again and I will have more time to write. School is going wonderfully and the semester will be over in May.

Today something horrible happened. The day started off great, I checked with Blackboard and seen that I got an A on my biology exam, and I felt like nothing in the world could possibly bring me down today. I was literally on cloud nine. Then the unimaginable happened. I was on the phone with my dearest and bestfriend, Danie and when I went to bend down to pick up something (I have now forgotten what that something was) I dropped my phone!

I didn't just drop it...it fell, somehow slipped from my grip, and it landed right on the screen. And the screen completely shattered! This broke my spirit in like 0.2 seconds. My phone is my lifeline. I use it to check email, find places, stay updated, and keep connected with all my friends and family (including family who live far far away). I wanted to cry (I did), I wanted to scream (I did), and then I just sat in silence completely stunned.

I have only had my phone for close to three months and this just couldn't happen. I cried on the phone to my hubby and he tried to console me, but I wouldn't be consoled when I had no money to buy a new one. What was I to do?

Well, I called my parents. I know I am twenty three years old but even as an adult who has been on her own since I was 18, I still need my parents. I hate asking them for money (which rarely happens anyway), but I didn't know what else to do. Luckily my mom had the money to borrow me. Of course the agreement is that I have to pay her back, but I am extremely thankful for her help.

That is why I just want to take a moment to say thank you to my parents. So many people in this world do not have the best of parents and some people have relationships that are less than remarkable with their parents. I have never had that problem. My parents are one of a kind and I wouldn't trade them for the world. And I consider them to be not only my parents but also good friends.

They have always been there for me when I needed them, they have raised me right, and I love them dearly. So, I just wanted to tell everyone never take your parents for granted, respect them (you never know when you might need them), and all in all love thy parents.

Trick or Treat

Well tonight is the night for spooktacular fun! It is officially Halloween. The air is crisp with the chill of fall, the jack-o-lanterns are lite, and children are dressed to the nines in costumes galore. We were smack dab in the middle of it all.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It is the best time of the year filled with costumes,  haunted houses, scary movies,  candy....everything fall, everything Halloweeny. All day I waited for Jeremiah to arrive home from school. My excitement was bubbling over.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! I'm so excited and I just can't fight it!

Jeremiah couldn't get home soon enough and once he finally did my mother showed up to take us back to her and my dad's house so we could get ready. Jeremiah did so well while my dad painted his face and we cautiously and carefully put his costume on, as not to smear the make-up.

We left the house at 6:15, jumped in the van, and began our night of trick or treating. It was wonderful and just as magical as it was when I was a child. I wish I had the chance to take pictures of some of the houses, the ones that were decked out in everything scary...spider webs,  tombstones, ghosts. But then I thought someone might think I was a little weird, taking pictures of their home, and so I tucked my camera away.

Jeremiah was well behaved. Smiling, remebering his line trick or treat, saying please and thank you and of course wishing each and everyone we came across a very happy halloween. After only an hour and a half (about 5-6 blocks) of trick or treating Jeremiah's pumpkin was filled to the rim with candy. I decided it was more than enough candy for a five year old. And finally we called it a night.

We stopped for McDonald's on the way home and surprisingly Jeremiah only ate a few pieces of candy. I gave him a good bath, scrubbing his face to get all the paint off, and put him down to sleep. He must have been completely wiped out because he dozed off into slumberland within just a few minutes.

I called my brother, Jonathan, to wish him a happy birthday too. Today he turned fourteen years old.

It was a spooky and awesomely fun night. Once again Halloween came through and did not fail me or let me down. It filled my night with happiness, it put a smile on my face, and it thrilled Jeremiah more than words could ever possibly say. I hope everyone had as wonderful a Halloween as we did.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

  Jeremiah pulled off being Dracula for one night very well. Doesn't he make a great Vampire?

Hello there

It is time to write again. I realized, to my regret, that I hadn't posted anything in at least a good week. There is no good reason for this, unless that is I can use laziness as an excuse. I have been lazy with my writing and it is time to get back on track.

I guess I should start with last weekend. Last weekend Jeremiah and I spent all day Saturday with my mom, Stephanie. My dad was out of town and we thought it would be fun to spend the day just us girls, well almost...us girls and a cute, 5 year old boy in tow. We rented movies, we stopped at McDonald's for a bite to eat, we got Jeremiah's hair cut, and we baked cookies. It was a good day. My mom works almost everyday of the week and more often than not we see very little of her. So it was nice to spend some much needed quality time.

Jeremiah of course took his school pictures. I cannot wait to get them back. His first year of preschool he did not smile at all, his second year of preschool he did a half smile, and now that he is in kindergarten I am hoping this time I get a complete and full smile. I know he knows how. He enjoys taking pictures, smiling brightly, and people comment all the time on how photogenic he is. I will have to wait for another 4-6 weeks before I see the pictures, until then I have my fingers crossed.

This week my bestfriend Danie and my goddaughter Leaira came over to visit. We cooked a huge Sunday dinner. Fried chicken, collard greens, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes with gravy, cheesy garlic biscuits, and broccoli with cheese. It was marvelous and mouth watering. Not just thefood, but the flow of conversation, the laughter, the warmth of friendship that filled my kitchen effortlessly.

Dan and I also picked out Jeremiah's Christmas gifts. We put it on layaway at WalMart and next Wensday when Dan gets paid we are paying off our layaway bill and taking the gifts home with us. Dan is thrilled, rubbing his hands together, and exclaiming “Those toys are mine!” Do you want to know what we got him? I am sure you do...the suspense is killing you isn't it? I would tell you, but my hubby said I should make you wait. I think you will have to wait until Christmas to see. Put it this wau though, Jeremiah is going to love all his presents!

And last, but most certainly not least...the countdown has officially began. There is only 5 days until Halloween! In five days my brother Jonathan turns 14, Jeremiah turns intoa vampire, and the spirits of the dead walk the earth...just joking about that last one. Halloween night is always fun for me. I have wonderfully spooktacular memories of Halloween as a child. My dad and I would carve pumpkins and I would dress up to go trick or treating. Sometimes we would frequent the local haunted houses. Jeremiah isn't quite old enough to brave the horrors of a haunted house, but he is a trick or treating pro. He is all pumped up and ready to go. All he talks about is dressing up in his costume and I keep reminding him to be patient, because we still have 5 more days to go.

But I understand his excitement. I am 23 and still excited for my favorite holiday of the year. I am ready to take pictures of Jeremiah as a vampire, I am ready to steal candy from his pumpkin basket while he sleeps a few feet away, and I am ready to watch scary movies Halloween night with my man. I am already getting in the spirit watching AMC's Fear Fest.

So, what is your child dressing up as? What are your favorite Halloween memories? How are you getting in the spirit of Halloween? Oh and of course what is your favorite scary movie?

* Mine of course is John Carpenter's Halloween...you know Michael Meyers, the one who wears a white mask, carries a butcher knife, and stalks babysitters....

TLC

I am a stay at home mom/student. Someday when I am finished with school I will join the ranks of working mothers, but until then my job duties consist of cooking breakfast and dinner, keeping our apartment clean and organized, going to school and being a top notch student, and taking care of the basic wants and needs of a five year old boy.

Often when my son is in school I find myself with time on my hands. When I have time on my hands I like to do things that make me feel all good inside. I read, I will write, I hang out with friends, I sleep in, and more often than not I will watch TV. I often find myself tuning in to TLC. TLC has some good shows. Currently I am enthralled in I didn't know I was pregnant, Sister Wives, and Extreme Couponing.

Now while I really enjoy these shows, I also have several opinions. While I sat or sometimes lay on the couch glued to the screen thoughts are racing through my head. So, what better way to share my thoughts than right here on my blog. If you watch these shows too feel free to comment and let me know what you think.

I didn't know I was pregnant is the kind of show you cannot help but to watch. It sucks you in with its dramatic depictions and it baffles even the brightest crayon in the box. How could someone not know they were pregnant? I guess if you are getting what you think is a period, you don't feel any movement, and you aren't gaining much weight it could be easy to not realize it. But sometimes these women are having signs and they just take a pregnancy test and when it comes out negative they just overlook everything. Home pregnancy tests can be wrong, so if you are having signs go to the doctor and take a blood test. Otherwise this show is overall a good one.

Sister Wives has really opened my eyes. This show kind of throws me off and makes me question everything I believe in. And I always feel slightly in the dark....it leaves me asking so many questions that my head is spinning afterward. I have always been the type who believes in monogamy. But when I watch Sister Wives I see this huge family, they are loving and happy, and it makes me think. Who am I to say that what they are doing is wrong? Who said it is supposed to be just one husband and one wife? Why is it that we are expected to find everything we want in a partner in one person? That's a whole lot of pressure, don't you think? But then I also see the downside. He doesn't see all his children on a daily basis, since he has to share his time with four different wives, and how does that effect the kids? Knowing their father is going off to spend time with another wife and another set of kids. Did he or any of his wives grow up in a polygamist family? How would they feel if their children chose to be monogamists? Do they judge monogamists or view them negatively? When his first wife married him, did she know they were going to be polygamists? Do the wives ever get jealous? See what I mean about all the questions....my head is spinning now. Watch this show if you are looking to learn about different kinds of lives and values. But you must do so with an open mind, otherwise you will never be able to fully appreciate this show.

Extreme Couponing is an awesome show, but it's too brief and pisses me off quite often. I am all for saving a buck. There is nothing wrong with coupons, there is nothing wrong with stocking up a little bit, and if you can get something for free then go for it. But these people are just putting a new spin on hoarding. I am sorry but they seriously are. Instead of being messy, dirty, and utterly useless hoarders, they are clean, organized, and useful hoarders. Nobody needs a stock pile of 500 body washes, 200 toothbrushes, 150 packages of diapers, etc. It isn't even possible to use all that within your lifetime. About half of these people do not donate and in case they don't realize it, things eventually do expire. And they buy junk when it comes to food. They are buying soda, candy bars, chips, and pasta. Give me a break. And for those whom are shelf clearers I just want to scream. That is unbelievably rude, selfish, and arrogant. It is not even possible to be an extreme couponer unless you want to dedicate 30 hours or more a week to it, that is like having a full time job. Who has the time for this? Plus, the show only shows us one of their bigger shopping trips and like a few seconds of how they pull it off. The show does not dedicate enough time to showing real people, normal, everyday people how to do something like this or how to even do something remotely similar to it. This show is fun, but it is also going to possibly grate on your nerves. Beware is all I am saying.

And there you have it. A review of my three favorite shows on TLC. I love them, but at times they get on my nerves. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. Thanks TLC for giving me something to write about and filling my days with good TV.

Restless

Tonight I opened the windows and let the cool breeze float in and work its magic. As the day melts away and night begins to settle in you can really feel the chill. The good kind. The kind that only comes with the promise of fall. Fall is creeping in, making its precense known with the nightfall chill, the colorful leaves splayed along the sidewalks, and Halloween is right around the corner.

I love Halloween. It is my favorite holiday. Yes, I like it even more than Christmas. Halloween is the one time of year you can dress up and be anyone or anything you want to be. Children receive candy free of charge, houses are decorated with Jack-O-Lanterns, scarecrows, and spider webs. We visit haunted houses for nothing more than the thrill of being scared shitless and scary movies like that of John Carpenter's Halloween become a familiar scene.

This year Jeremiah is finally dressing up as something actually frightening. When he was one he was tigger, at two he was Darth Vader, at the age of three he was Spiderman, and last year he was a pirate. But this year I decided it was time for something more classic and something scary. This year he is going to be a vampire! He is so excited. Jeremiah shares my love of Halloween and since the moment I tried on his costume to make sure everything fit properly, he has been ready. As you can imagine we are both anticipating Halloween night.

Lately I have been feeling restless. I don't know why though.

I have been kind of snappy with Dan as well. It seems everything he does, everything he says comes out wrong. He has just been getting under my skin and there is no way to explain it.

My period hasn't come yet. I have always been irregular, birth control and even pregnancy did not help me with my irregularity issues. I can go a couple months without getting one and then suddenly it comes without warning. It is quite annoying.

When I do get it, it is fairly easy. It lasts for 3-4 days, I have very little to no cramping, and it is a normal amount. In August I got period around the usual time it would come, but something seemed off. It lasted 3 days, no cramping, but it just wasn't normal. The first day it was extremely light, the second and third day it was light and spotty. Last month it never came and now this month it didn't come on the 11^th as it should have. I honestly do not know what is going on.

I took a pregnancy test a couple weeks ago just to be safe, but it came back negative. Which was a little disappointing. What with my baby fever I was almost hoping it would be positive. If I became pregnant on accident than Dan would have no choice but to be ready for a new baby, since neither of us believe in abortion. But it was negative.

So, I do not know why I am irregular. I am not pregnant (as far as I know), I am not eating anything different, I haven't changed anything in my routine, and I do not feel stressed. But I have been snappy with Dan, which only seems to happen when I am pregnant or when my period is about to come. So perhaps it is coming. We shall see. I will update.

Jeremiah takes his school pictures on the 19^th. On Friday we are going to get his haircut, because he is in desperate need for a good trim. His hair grows rapidly, I don't know how his hair grows so fast, but Dan's hair grows quickly too, so I am thinking it is just something in his genes that gives him rapid hair growth. I seriously feel sorry for him when he has to start shaving.

Anyhow, Dan's good friend Dave is coming in tomorrow from out of town. Dave doesn't come here too often so Dan is excited to see his friend. We cleaned the apartment from top to bottom. Seriously we vacumed and steam cleaned the carpet, sweapt and mopped both the kitchen and bathroom floor, took out the trash, washed all the clothes and put them away, washed all the blankets and sheets, cleaned the toilet, did the dishes, etc.

Don't get me wrong Dan and I are very clean people and we do a deep cleaning like this every week anyhow, but I was just letting you know all we did to make sure our home was clean and comfortable for his friend. While Dan enjoys some man time with Dave, Jeremiah and I are going over to my parent's house to visit my dad.

Well, it is getting late, almost one in the morning here, and I am getting sleepy. Jeremiah passed out some time ago and Dan has already fallen asleep on the couch. I have to wake in the morning and get Jeremiah ready and off to school. I better get some rest myself. Good night everyone!

Baby Fever

This fever is the worst of all kind. It starts off low grade but quickly climbs into a blistering frenzy. It can be dangerous if not caught in time. No I am not talking about a real fever, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously. I am talking about baby fever.

Lately I have been suffering from it and even as I sit here writing I feel guilty. Why am I complaining? I already have one beautiful son. There are women who have no children, may never have children, those are the women who have the right to be complaining of baby fever. But I can't help myself.

Jeremiah turned five this past June and I am ready to have another. Emotionally I am ready, physically I am ready, mentally I am ready, and financially I think we could do it. Dan however believes we are not ready financially. Therefore he is holding off. But it's not so much the financial responsibility than it is about Dan wanting me to finish school before bringing another baby into this world and our lives.

I understand all the good reasons why we should wait, but there are a number of good reasons why I wish we wouldn't wait. I know it is important for me to finish school, to establish myself in my career, and even for Dan and I to get married. These are all real and good reasons. But it doesn't put this fever to rest. It only fules the fire and makes me think of reasons why we should have another baby now.

I want to give Jeremiah a sibling. Of course he will have one, even if we wait, but I just do not feel like he will have that same kind of closeness, that same bond as siblings who are close in age and whom grow up together.

Lets face it; we're not getting any younger. I am only twenty three years old, and while that is relatively young, each passing year I am only getting older. Dan is thirty seven and no offense, but he is most definitely getting older. Any idiot can tell you that with age your chance of getting pregnant decreases. Even if it isn't age that slows my fertility, what if something else happens? What if someday I can't have children because of some other unknown reason? Things happen.

By the time I am finished with school, Dan and I actually get married, and I feel comfortable enough in my career to get pregnant and take maternity leave Jeremiah could very well be 10-12 years old. Do I really want to start all over again? It would be like nearing the finish line of a board game and then pulling a card that tells you to go back to the starting gate. More than likely I would start again, because my desire to add more children to our family is that powerful, but still.

Am I making any sense? I hope so, because these are just a few of my more vital points. I may be convincing you and I have totally convinced myself, but Dan is a tough cookie. Like I have said before, I am a Gemini and we geminis are known to be quite persuasive, but for some reason my charms don't work quite the way I expect on Dan. It is like he has a special shield that keeps me from being able to get to him.

This fever has been coming and going since Jeremiah was like two. One day it starts and drags on for months and then just as suddenly as it came on, I wake up one day and the feeling is gone. But the more time that passes on the worse this fever gets. It comes on stronger and hangs around longer.

I think I am going to continue my pursuit full force, working on Dan, trying to bend him this way and that until finally he sees things my way. Wish me luck.

Making Friends

Dan and I have a knack for making friends everywhere we go. I am being serious when I say this. We are always striking up conversations with people we meet in the grocery store, the automotive shop, the bank, etc. But more than that we have a gift of befriending our neighbors. I don't know why this is. And I can honestly say neither of us are weirdos, we are just genuinely nice and friendly people, and I think people can read that about you if you give off those vibes. I am a great believer in the vibes people send off and how others read them.

The first neighbor we became super close with was Danie, who is now my bestfriend. That was just a little over three years ago. This past summer we made another great friend. She started off as a neighbor, but has now become a wonderful friend to the both of us, but especially to me. Our neighbor Shakela is just wonderful. She is generous, funny, and a miraculous cook (whom invites me and Jeremiah to dinner every weekend, because Dan works on the weekends and it is boring to cook for just me and a small child who hardly eats (literally I don't know how he is alive, I joke that he lives off air)).

Not only that, but Shakela has three beautiful, totally awesome kids. Her oldest is 6 year old Khalil, her middle is 5 year old Saa'mia, and her youngest is 3 year old Sakinah. I am not the only one who has made a friend. Jeremiah has too. Shakela's children have become Jeremiah's first real friends outside of school and I am so proud. Since Jeremiah has a high functioning form of Autism, it can be difficult for him to make friends, due in part because of his lack of communication. I mean he talks, but not perfectly, and sometimes that stands in his way.

Over the summer Jeremiah followed Shakela's bunch like a lost puppy. He would ride his bike with them, play in the dirt with them, and watch cartoons with them. Curently they have an ongoing game of Vampire! A game in which Khalil plays pretend to be a vampire and the others run around screaming, while he chases them, pretending to attack them and suck their blood. I know it sounds crazy and for the most part when the kids get together it is crazy and wild, but it makes for good laughs.

While Jeremiah was busy with that I found myself spending more time with Shakela. It started off with a casual hey, then we started talking about the kids, we began to learn about each other's likes, what we had in common, sharing stories about our pasts, and as they say the rest is history. Now we are always knocking on each other's doors rather it be to borrow sugar, eat dinner together, let the children play, watch our favorite shows together, or just to talk. It is fun and wonderful to have a friend/neighbor like this. Not many people become this close to their neighbors.

But you know how they say all good things come to an end...well I fear this is the end. We didn't have a falling out or anything like that. No. Shakela may be moving at the end of this month and I am not entirely happy. To be dead honest I am not happy at all.

She recently found a place that tickled her pink and she put in her application. She is currently awaiting the verdict of rather or not she is getting the place. If not then most likely she will be renewing her lease. If she does get approved then at the end of this month we have to say our goodbyes. I hate, absolutely hate goodbyes. I have never been good with them, they break my heart, and make me feel empty inside.

A part of me hopes she gets the place, because I know it would make her happy. But for my own selfish reasons I don't want to see her go. We have become so close and I feel so comfortable with her. She is right across the hall, she fills my days with something to look forward to, someone to talk to and laugh with, and Jeremiah's little heart will be broken when he can no longer go over there and play with his friends.

Fortunately she isn't moving far. We can still visit one another, she is moving close by Jeremiah's school, so there will be plenty of oppurtunities for us to see each other, andof course for the kids to visit and play their games.

It still sucks, but at the very least I made a great neighbor and turned her into a great friend. And Jeremiah finally made some friends too. Hopefully, we get another cool neighbor, but probably no one that quite compares to Shakela.

Thanks chica for being an awesome neighbor, a wonderful new friend, and I hope that even if you move away we continue to see each other often, that we may build upon our friendship, and that our children may grow up into lifelong friends. Love ya...and the little ones!