Soul Mate

I feel the need to clarify....if for nothing more than to be honest.

When I refer to, Dan, as my husband...it is not meant in the traditional sense. Well sort of. Dan and I have never actually walked down the aisle of a church, recited vows in front of family and friends, nor have we fed each other cake and we do not share the same last name.

Don't get me wrong, we want to do these things. After being together for 6 years we know each other better than some married couples know one another. We know each other's favorites and least favorites, we know how to push the other's buttons, we share the same dreams and hopes for the future.

But we have not made it official just yet, because I want to finish school before we say those vows. I know Dan is the man I want to spend my life with and if I am going to get married I plan on doing it one time and one time only. So I want my wedding to be special and everything I have always dreamed it to be.

While it may not be official I do know that in my heart he is the man for me, the one in which I wish to grow old with, the one I want to make my husband. That is why in my book he is my husband. Dan for all intent and purposes is my soul mate.

What got me thinking about soul mates is, well Dan and I just got into a little tiff. Long story short I got home this evening, after spending some much needed time with my dad, put Jeremiah to sleep and proceeded to fold and put away all the clean laundry (which was a lot since I have been kind of lazy lately about the laundry...okay you got me, I am always lazy when it comes to folding and putting away laundry).

Anyway after completing that horrendous task all I wanted to do was sit my lazy butt on the couch, maybe watch a little bad TV and perhaps read a book (The Memory Keeper's Daughter...I bought it quite sometime ago and still haven't gotten around to reading it). Dan on the other hand, since I had first arrived home actually, decided he wanted to talk until my ears bleed. He has been chattering away practically non stop and quite frankly I just wasn't in the mood. So when the TV flickered on Dan got the hint, was insulted by the fact that I didn't feel like listening to him anymore, and stomped off to bed. Looking back it's quite funny, because usually it would be the woman doing what Dan did.

As much as I love Dan I know that our relationship takes some decent amount of work to keep it alive and well. Not because we're not in love, but because in all honesty Dan and I have the odds stacked against us. Here is why:

1. “ The Age Gap”: Dan and I are 14 years apart in age. That isn't just an age gap, we are literally in a completely different generation from one another. Because of this age difference Dan and I tend to view the world differently. Dan thinks like the 37 year old man he is and I think like the young 23 year old woman I am. Sometimes this can be a good thing though. Dan is older than me and can be more sensible and responsible when it comes to important issues, but as a young woman in her twenties I keep Dan young by offering fresh, new ideas and reminding him how vital it is to stay young at heart.

2. “Venus Vs. Mars”: This is something all couples struggle with and it is fairly simple. He is a man and I am a woman. No matter which two ways you look at it we naturally think, behave, and react in different ways.

3. “Gemini + Pices= ?”: Dan doesn't believe a single bit in the zodiac...but I do to a certain extent. I do not think it is mere coincidence that we tend to portray characteristics of the zodiac sign in which we were born under. As a pices Dan is sensitive, generous, caring, organized, dramatic, family oriented and needs a lot of reassuring. As a Gemini gal I am outgoing, carefree, fickle, never finish what I start, versatile, do not care what other people think, and fly by the seat of my pants. I am also not an overtly sensitive individual. I say what I think, I overshare, and I speak before I think most of the time, and more often than not I do not think nor care too much about how what I say might hurt someone's feelings, and believe me I have hurt people's feelings because of this. Not purposely, but it happens, and Dan is one of those people whose feelings are easily hurt.

Those are just a few examples of why Dan and I have to work at our relationship. We are merely different people. That is not a bad thing, because I wouldn't want to be with someone who is just like me, who enjoys all the same things, who always agrees with me...that would be boring.

There are also things Dan does that grind my gears so to speak. Such as how he thinks he does more for our family because he works, but I don't. I think I work too, here at home I do all the cleaning, cooking, and taking care of our son when he is not here to help. Dan also likes to play the blame game as in he hates to hold himself accountable for his own actions so he likes to pass the buck onto someone else. Dan also always wants to be right, because he is older he feels the need to be the one who is wiser and therefore knows things.

But despite all the reasons why we are so opposite of one another I know there are reasons why we are so meant for each other.

He makes me laugh with his insane stories and jokes, he is a hard worker and proves that everyday he goes out and makes money to support our family, he does know things that I don't know or understand, he is a good father to our son, he is reliable, he is loyal and honest, he is a good lover, a good cook when he does cook, he shares my dreams for the future, he is kind even to those he does not know, he is generous when he can be, he puts me and our son before himself, he is responsible, he makes me feel like a princess, he tells me I am beautiful everyday, he is affectionate, and I know I can tell him anything. Dan isn't just a good father, a good husband, a good man...he is an overall good person. More than anything he isn't just my soul mate, he is a close and dear friend. We will always have each other's back, he has my heart as I have his, and he is a part of who I am as a person.

And so yes, though at times it is hard work, I think all good things are worth working and fighting for. So, for me Dan is my love, my husband, my soul mate. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now ladies I ask you...how do you know your man is the one? Is he your soul mate? Why and how does he complete you/make you a better person?